My daughter’s fear is that she isn’t safe in the middle of the night.
She’s also afraid to leave the house with her hair out of place.
Fear makes her shy. It makes her cry.
My wife is the same.
My son’s fear is that another kid will best him,
That he'll try his best but fail.
He’s afraid a girl will outrun him.
Fear makes him talk too much at times.
It also makes him quiet when he should speak up.
I am the same.
Anger.
Jealousy.
Control.
Hatred.
Yelling.
Unfaithfulness.
Criticism.
Domination.
Shame.
Fear comes first.
Fear keeps me at my desk after 5:00,
but it also keeps me from really working.
It longs for the end of today, yet it hates tomorrow.
Fear manipulates my wife to be "better",
and then gives up on her.
Fear speaks harshly.
And it goes silent.
Fear hates joy.
It is angered by it.
It mocks it, attempts to kill it.
And yet it stands jealously in awe of it.
Fear is ever present, yet ever hidden.
Fear hates the sinner, yet tempts me to sin.
It makes me clingy, yet makes me flee.
My true friends are among the best I have ever had...
I fear to lose them, but I fear to keep them as well. (They know too much about me)
It keeps me ever searching and never finding.
Fear makes you choose extremes.
It keeps God’s freedom obscure and unattainable.
Fear makes one man choose wine and another man a shot of grape juice.
I desperately long for God to speak, but fear keeps me from asking.
Fear waits not five minutes for God’s reply before plowing ahead with its own agenda.
Where can I hide from fear?
Where can I go to escape it.
So often it is both the start and the end of a thing.
It then starts another thing and then ends it before it has run its proper course.
Cleverly hidden in the shadows of achievement and in the freedom of the freeloader is fear.
I want to know a day without fear.
A day of parenting without fear.
A day being married without fear.
A day at work without fear.
I want to know friendship without fear.
I want to know my God without fear.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” -1John 4:18
Jesus.
Father.
Spirit.
Come.
Make me perfect in love.
Make me fearless.